Three Potent Reminders From A Recent Brush With Death
About that one time when a deadly bacteria almost took me out...
I sat bolt upright in bed in a confused daze and tried to get out of bed gently so that I wouldn’t wake Sara, but it was all I could do to help from shrieking. What in God’s name was going on, I wondered?
I slithered out of bed and butt-scooted down the stairs using my one good leg and flipped on the light before fish-flopping onto the recliner to investigate—only to find that my left leg had nearly doubled in size from the knee down.
Flaming, angry and red…it was scorching to the touch. I viscerally remember the feeling of shock looking at my limb, which was nearly unrecognizable due to the massive inflammation. I felt the internal pressure about to pop my knee joint like a balloon and I started to pour sweat.
All the blood in my body seemed to have pooled in my lower leg, making standing, sitting or even breathing excruciating. My upper body felt cold and slightly feverish, which seemed like a nervous system response to a shocking injury.
I began to run through the possible scenarios of what could have caused this. I’d been running and training very hard recently, and my first instinct was that I’d torn something significant in my knee—thus my body was reacting overnight to an injury I was only now becoming aware of. I’ve had a few weird, painful injuries before that have popped up without warning and disappeared just as quickly.
So despite the pain, I wasn’t overly concerned. This was a nearly fatal error.
I Couldn’t Have Been More Wrong
Even for a man with the middle name “Colossus,” this was a dangerous misread of the situation.
I stayed off the leg, icing and elevating it over the next 48 hrs. Critically, I was also taking a small amount of NSAIDs (Ibuprofen). I prefer to take pain meds as infrequently as possible because my instinct tells me it’s better to know what’s happening in the body than to mask the symptoms, even if they’re uncomfortable.
Usually, your pain is trying to tell you something important. For instance, a splitting headache might mean you are dehydrated—the pain reliever will take care of the symptom, but not the cause. I also know many OTC medications are hard on your stomach, liver and kidneys when used frequently. Still, the pain in my leg was so severe I was happy anti-inflammatories existed in that moment.
By Friday, things had not significantly improved. I was using a walker to get around the house. That was definitely a first! I felt more like my grandmother with every hobbled step. Since I was treating this an an overuse injury from heavy training, I figured that while I was waiting for the leg to heal, I might as well get some chiropractic care—so I went to my local chiro for treatment on my right leg and lower back, which had both taken a beating from lopsided walking.
At the appointment, the seriousness of the doctor’s expression did not give me relief.
“That looks bad. Really bad. I’ll give you some support for your lower back…but that’s not normal. You need to see an ortho immediately.”
Within a few hours, I was at orthopedic urgent care. But it was a short visit. Every nurse in the facility looked at my leg and did a double take—it was not instilling confidence! Alarm bells were beginning to go off.
The doctor took one look at the leg.“
No. Oh no. That…that’s not an orthopedic issue. That’s either a blood clot or an infection. You need to go to the ER immediately. This cannot wait over the weekend.”
Back in the car, headed to the ER (mom driving the whole time, by the way). By this time I was in a wheelchair and just happy to be pushed because I was so painfully exhausted. The staff helped me onto the bed and started taking tests over the next few hours.
A Few Days Longer Could Have Been Deadly
When it was all said and done, it turned out to be a gnarly staph infection in my leg most likely caused by being exposed to dirty mats at jiu jitsu.
Hygiene can be life or death for athletes. If you train combat sports, make sure the environment you train in has very high standards for the cleanliness of the gym and the hygiene of the members. This infection happened despite the fact that I was wearing full protective coverings (rash guard) up to my wrist and down to my ankles. I had no apparent open wounds or cuts and it still happened.
I noticed several signs that the cleanliness of the gym was not up to par, but I was only passing through for a few weeks and didn’t want to be “that guy.” In the future, I will be. I’ll never train at a gym that doesn’t meet my standards: showers in house, consistently clean mats, well-maintained locker rooms, proper bathroom protocol.
Staph can be deadly if it spreads through your bloodstream and it can become resistant to antibiotics as well (MRSA). It’s an infection that feels like a shattered bone, can easily kill you, and you can pass it to others. True nightmare fuel.
The terrifying part is that the anti-inflammatories I took before going to the hospital lowered the fever just enough to make it bearable —which threw off my natural instincts that this was more than a physical injury. The doctor told me in so many words that if I’d waited a few extra days, the consequences could have been dire. I have my wife and my mom to thank for essentially forcing me to take it more seriously.
The doctors started me on IV antibiotics and kept me overnight on Friday. Saturday morning, I was not fully recovered. I still couldn’t even stand up to pee, but my labs were good enough to discharge me. I was able to wheel myself out of the hospital by the grace of God and Marie Curie.
That Monday, we moved from my mom’s house in New Jersey to our place in New York and I had to watch as others lugged boxes around me, completely unable to help. As someone who prides themselves on being able to carry the brunt of all physical labor, I felt helpless and useless at times. A few days later, I was able to ditch the walker. I even noticed three new stretch marks on my knee.
Talk about personal growth.
Three Big Reminders From My Brush With Death
I took a lot from this experience—namely humility and gratitude. Here are a three specific reminders that were reinforced:
1.) Prepare for battle: You can do everything right and still lose it all. However, the physical state in which you come to meet a battle for your life can determine the outcome of the battle. This includes not just if you survive the encounter with death, but how long it takes you to recover, and what long term consequences you experience on the other side.
Unfortunately, you don’t rise to meet challenges, you fall to the level of your preparation. This is just another reason to maintain robust health to the best of your ability at all times so that if anything does happen, you’re in prime condition to fight.
If you find yourself getting sick, don’t just lay there and take it like a prisoner held hostage waiting for the doctor, the drugs, or death. Instead, affirm your strength. Know that you are your own healer and focus your energy on developing the inner power to create healing within yourself.
Stuart Wilde had an excellent affirmation for this, he said:
“What I am is the Force within. I am not my body, I am not my emotions or my mind. I am eternal, immortal, universal, and infinite, and what I am has beauty and strength. There is nothing I cannot learn to control.”
2.) Pain is a signal, not noise: We often experience pain as an outside invader instead of an internal signal that something needs to change. The pain itself is not the problem—it’s pointing to the problem. When you numb the pain, you mute the messenger. In many instances, we end up endlessly fighting against pain we have created for ourselves because we are not listening to the message it has for us.
As they say in jiu jitsu: whatever you’re pushing against is also pushing against you.
3.) You are your own healer: I am grateful for the doctors and the antibiotics in this situation. I’d likely be dead without them. At the same time, I also recognize that I was not a passive recipient in my own recovery process, I was an active participant. I participated through my existing physical health which allowed my body to put up a tremendous fight at the hour of need—and I participated through my outlook on the healing process. The healing process was hard, but it could have been much longer and more painful had I not been prepared.
Doctors and medicine are powerful external factors that spark internal change. But remember that you—not doctors or drugs—are doing the healing. Being in robust physical health doesn’t mean that nothing bad will ever happen to you. It means that if and when something does, you will be in a position of resourcefulness and resilience because you have taken full responsibility.
Your true measure of health isn’t the fact you never experience illness or injury—it’s how quickly you can adapt and recover when you inevitably do.
Five Simple Actions You Can Take to Create Robust Health
Your physical health is a fluid state, not a static one. It’s a moving target. You cannot really “master” your health. However, you can master the behaviors that inevitably lead to robust health and let the body’s natural intelligence take over from there. But don’t worry, your body is smarter than you think.
As you develop a more intentional approach to your health, you’ll begin to see the body as an outward manifestation of your inner world and you care for it accordingly. The overall goal of every person should be to reach a sustained individual peak within their physical experience where they feel as good as they can, for as long as they can.
Life isn’t just about how long you live (lifespan)—but also about the quality and condition of your experience during that time (healthspan). After all, what good is living to 85 years if you’re unable to move without pain, think without fog, or breathe without coughing for the last 20?
Here are a five simple actions you can take to support not just living longer, but feeling great for the duration of your life:
Accept: You are in control of and responsible for your physical body. Accept it. Many of the problems you experience are a direct result of your behaviors—and the ones that aren’t can still likely be solved by your behaviors.
Learn: Take the time to understand the basic functions of the major organs in your body and how they work. Have some awareness of how your machinery operates.
Observe: Become more aware of the subtle aspects of your physical form and recognize changes in your body. Look closely at your body. Weigh yourself. Get your bloodwork done on a regular basis.
Trust: If it gets sick or injured, you know it’s capable of healing itself. Give it the nourishment, energy, and space to do so. Don’t try to force it to recover. Allow.
Train: Learn how to exercise and eat to support your body’s best health. Move on a regular basis. Give it the fuel it needs and you’ll be repaid tenfold.
Your Body Is The Business Plan
If you’d like more detail on exactly how I integrate these actions in my daily life, you should definitely check out my book Your Body Is The Business Plan: An Entrepreneur’s Guide to Developing The Physical Habits That Create Mental Focus & Drive Sustainable Success In Business.
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Why most “high performers” are actually low-performers running on fumes — and how to fix it with one overlooked daily ritual...
The secret to eliminating brain fog, emotional reactivity, and decision fatigue — without changing your to-do list...
How to access the natural drugs your brain produces that feel like amphetamines and last all day...
The #1 thing most "experts" get wrong about sleep—and what you can do to get higher quality rest than 90% of people—with fewer total hours...
The hidden damage “biohacking” culture is doing to your nervous system — and the simpler protocol that actually works...
How to use physical movement to rewire your brain, regulate your emotions, and stay sharp under pressure...
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It's funny that I've gone through very similar situation in the last few months! I agree with you with all the insights and takeaway that you've shared here, thank you and thank God that we both have been given the second chance in life!